paintings of life with my colours

Striking the right chord

2009-08-01T16:06:00.002+05:30

Its way into its 10th day and i must say its very steadily treading its way..For those who are little off track from the news channels and papers i am referring to the resident doctors strike for a hike in their measly stipend,the security issues and living conditions...After all MunnaBhai and Circuit have just given a fairy tale version of the lives we live...!!!!
Being a resident doctor myself i feel its justified,but sadly enough we havent been able to stir the entire gujarat's laymen to support us..not that we are all alone..people from different sectors have promised and showed us their support but they are by and large they are people related to the medical services...what we still lack is a full blown support from the people using our services..for them we are still sinners who are nothing but money mongers being quite selfish enough as to overlook the needy and lament upon our own problems;when we should be actually serving them day and night selflessly...
What they don't understand is that we too are human beings..we are just a robot from God to save lives scientifically but robots with a heart,mind and soul..and most of all a functioning body which needs to thrive well to serve better..With the meagre amount of money we get for our sevices is that justified?? I mean isn't it a disgrace to our services?our efficiency??
I just hope people reading this shall understand the right meaning of our strike and not consider it as mere publicity gimmick or way to shun our duties or gold digging idea....
After all a strike does have to "strike it"...right mate??or may i put it in this way...apun logo ke saath justice hona mangta hai mamu...

The Awakening

2009-07-24T23:51:00.003+05:30

The emptiness i feel within can't just be explained...
Well not sounding too depressed but sometimes i do feel i am incomplete..not exactly just in the sense of a life partner to share all moments of my life but i feel that i have much to achieve and i haven'teven started yet.like u want to scale the Everest and u still haven't bought a ticket to Nepal..!!!
Honestly speaking, i wonder whether everyone feels this at some point of their life.i guess they do..I feel a little hesitant to actually dream about my ambitions..feeling whether i shall really be able to achieve them or will the emptiness remain..??Off late that hesitation too has started to wear off..and a big share of the credit goes to my teacher..his vitality and energy and the "go for it" attitude is really infectious..You can't help but get motivated,inspired..He always keep saying you should make the right decision and once u have made it give your tooth and nail for it..no looking back..everyday i wake up and i promise myself to do something meaningful...Apart from trying to save lives, i intend to do much more...Like write,dance,sing, help someone,make someone feel special,spread a smile to a stranger,not hurt myself,feel strong,catch up with friends,paint,play badminton....At the end of the day before finally closing my eyes i do ask myself how much have i achieved??Most of the times the answer is depressing..But i close my eyes with the same firm belief that tomorrow will always be more beautiful,more meaningful...I guess my teacher will be atleast happy that i got started with his advice...
I think the emptiness is always useful..atleast you can keep on filling your life with new things...New dreams, new hopes,new ambitions,new smiles.....

10 commandments

2009-03-02T19:20:00.003+05:30

Not repeating biblic words...These are some of the things i learnt during the first ten months of my residency..And the process is still on...
1)Be practical,sincere and a little bit selfish in your work. when u are working 24*7 saving lives there will be times when things go out of your hand..but that doesnt make u any lesser in your abilities...
2)Keep professional and personal relations different and choose them carefully
People take you wrongly if you chat a little more that just a "refer"
3)Learn from every incident good or bad.
If u get a firing coz you havent done something properly,that should stimulate you not to repeat the same mistake twice.
4)Follow the rules in the book,but act like what the situation demands..
some diseases just dont cure by the book,they need more tact than just knowledge..and to hide these tacts from your seniors you need more skill..
5)Come what may,stay united with your colleagues.
Not all fingers are alike but still they look good when they stay together.And even if you have differences never let them be known to others..(except best friends)
6)Learn to share your feelings with yourself alone..
Though this is one lesson i regret very much;since i am one chatterbox; but trying my best to work on it...
7)Learn to help whenever required expecting nothing in return..

3 missing out of ten..but i am sure might be able to fill in the coming years..
As much as i miss my UG days with my friends,i love the experience of being more responsible and more adult like...I just wish my UG days linger on with me wherever i go...

LIFE TOPPLED...........

2008-04-16T18:04:00.002+05:30

There was more anxiety than ever...My first day at the hospital as a resident,was killing me..And then it ended sweet..My seniors and teachers turned out to be the best i could have asked for..Though havent got a proper room..but then thats how things will be...
anyway will be shifting tomorrow with my bag..to the ward...
But this time it won't be just patients...bubbly kids are always a pleasant sight..

A "NEWBORN"

2008-04-10T16:18:00.003+05:30

Whoopie...am finally going to join something i had been aspiring since the time i entered my second year of MBBS...!!! PEDIATRICS!!!!
What a day it was..To begin with i wasn't feeling that well(which is usual to an axious soul like me)..Again at the temple the cocunut that was first used as an offerend turned out to be "stale"..And i am a bit superstitious..Then we reached the venue "before" time but i forgot certain documents...I mean I can't imagine myself doing such a silly thing,inspite of checking and rechecking things umpteen number of times..And poor Dad had to go all the way 15 kilometres to get that back..Hope i don't make such a mistake while diagnosis!!!
Anyway to top it all i was on borderline for the hospital of my choice.But as friend's dad said "all's well that ends well"..
Finally after thanking all my stars and GODS i felt happy that the second coconut was one of the sweetest i had tasted in ages..

THE D DAY..........

2008-04-09T19:42:00.002+05:30

Its finally arrived..The day when we are supposed to choose our professional courses..As much as i am excited about getting into pediatrics i am really anxious as to under whom shall i be taking the training...
Dont know how frequently i might be able to blog after this but for sure,this one's gonna be probably my last blog for quite some time...:)
So here's hoping that i get into the unit i prefer...

CONVOCATION

2008-04-03T17:49:00.006+05:30

Anyone reading this is going to hit me hard...Procrastinating a post for 1 month, can be heights of laziness..but this time there was a technical error..didn't have the pics to upload;still don't, but i thought of nevertheless writing it down,since its about time for our counselling..
5 and half years..it seems like just yesterday..For that one moment when we were declared as "graduates" or should i say "doctors",moments passed by,through my mind, like the PowerPoint presentation..(Felt like aamir khan in DCH.)
Though we didn't have our degree officially,posing with certificate lookalikes felt equally proud!!Even the traditional "topi uchhalna" felt so good...
But with it, came a sense of responsibility;the godly job of taking care of human lives..For which i guess we all were and shall be ever prepared..:)
Thats my batch..We shared our first clinical experiences together...
TOP...Ashish,Saumya,Valay,Arpit,Mayur (L to R)
Shachee,Me,Amrita (L to R)
Munjal(sitting)

बुरा ना मानो होली है

2008-03-24T22:30:00.002+05:30

Probably my last holi with my college friends...Needless to say had a ball...Actually i am at loss of words to describe the day but then who needs words when u have memories engraved onto your hippocampus..!!!(the part of brain regulating memories)
Completely merging with the colours,were the emotions,little moments...Some of them which i want to treasure;and many which i want to forget but its difficult..
Friends, i am gonna miss you so much;as much as i shall miss getting drenched in the colourful water...

Thats a glimpse of the enormous "masti" we had..
left to right...aashay,sneha,dhaval
standing near the car..me
minesh next to me
and background ma...hiral

MY WEEKEND "JAMMIN.."

2008-03-15T23:37:00.004+05:30

No i am not taking my guitar lessons...Just a trip to JAMNAGAR...a city in saurashtra part of GUJARAT..
My friend invited me over for the weekend..its not a very big city..actually just a transition from rural to urbanhood... but then being "natural" has its own advantages..waking upto the sweet sound of birds felt more like heaven..The whole serenity of the place in the evening made me yearning for some more days;so that i could stay back..But as they say excess of everything is too bad..I started missing the hustle buslte of ahmedabad in just 2 days..!!!
Coming to think of it,one person just calms all the commotion churning inside me..EINSTEIN..and his theory of relativity..and how??Actually..When my cousins came to my place from MUMBAI they had the same feeling that i experienced;trying to figure out how things work in a smaller city than urs..Back then i kept moaning about the city i live in..
Today after my childhood and teen,i'm quite happy and proud that i'm destined to be here in Ahmedabad(touchwood)..its not as big as the metros but it isnt anymore the "kheda gaon" my cousins teased me with..(whatever that means)..All above the rest its where i've learnt to live life...They are right"size does matter"..metros teach you how to earn money and cities like mine,let u spend and enjoy it to your heart's content..
Although i do plan to spend some professional years in mumbai,when it comes to "spend" the rest of my life..there's no place on earth like "maru amdavad"..
Not sure when i shall seriously take up guitar lessons(which i intend to after my post graduation),but this weekend stroke the right chord...
AMDAVAD MA TO BAPU,24 KALAK LEHER CHHE
NARMADA NAHI TO(SHU THAYU)SABARMATI NI MEHER CHHE...

PIC(K)NIC OF THE DAY

2008-03-11T19:45:00.011+05:30

Well finally it was goodbye to books and work;atleast for this month..Nothing better than a cool day out closer to the nature...So 12 of us decided to explore the fun and frolic...
We went one day trip to KABIRWAD and KEVADIA COLONY...
Started out early at 5.45 am...
I think that pic says enough...the beginning was beautiful and serene...
Went to kabirwad which is basically a huge banyan tree spread into GOD knows how many kilometres..Besides we were more happy with the 2 cricket matches and a ferry ride to and fro...

I however got the privelege to ride on the horseback,coz i was humbled down by 2 consecutive asthmatic acute attacks...Well thats me...i guess i love thrill too much...
Then of course we went to KEVADIA COLONY,which is a place where the the greatest dam of asia is under construction...The SARDAR SAROVAR PROJECT ON NARMADA RIVER....
If that wasnt enough to know its importance,the mechanism was just awesome..To think of Brain Drain i guess its right...I would just sum it up as an excellent example of engineering skill and intellect...

Finally to end the day we had a memorable moment captured onto the manmade device called "camera"...(thank God its digital,for it to be instant!!!)

khushal ,mayur on top row...
dipak,chintan,arpit,dhaval and kartik middle row...
krupa,hetal,janki,hiral and me(orange)...

SATURDAY MAYHEM

2008-02-24T00:34:00.002+05:30

I have no idea as to how i should describe the day!!!The word most apt would be---
hectic.
To begin with i woke up late but still managed to be decently late..(i mean 10 minutes is no crime)And i happen to know that a road traffic accident case has to be operated upon..A girl in her early twenties with a cute 3 year old daughter battling for her life..The whole day was spent in managing her..2 professors,3 residents,2 interns(including me),half a dozen anaesthesiologists,and nurses/servants whom i didnt have a count on;all trying their best to put back life into the girl..I dont remember what time i ate coz it was almost closing time at the mess(we took turns to eat)And to top it I still cant imagine we gave 17 pints of blood to that patient..!!(each pint has 300 ml)still not matching with her blood loss which was almost 8 litres..In the end however, i do not know how the patient is doing..since her relatives took her to another hospital...
Such incidents arent new to the hospital staff but for us interns it was touching!!The number of relatives looking at me with hopeful eyes everytime i was running around to get blood pints sanctioned from the blood bank;was making me feel all the more helpless..Yup helpless we all were,for we tried our best that we could to help keeping the patient stable;but sad to say that the patient's vitals were totally fluctuating..
One good thing i noticed was that all her relatives were constantly asking her not to lose faith in the ALMIGHTY..Atleast i am contended that they had trusted us that we had done our best...While i post this,one prayer goes for her on my behalf...After all, we can just hope for the best...

CHOCOLATE FACTORY

2008-02-18T22:18:00.003+05:30

Not the movie!!!Just an evening with my friends at "chocolate room"..a new outlet...
It had been a long time since we all had shared some light moments together...
And what a time it was.. a truely "sweet" affair...i really had a great time digging my teeth into some fabulous chocolate delicacies..and can't wait to get there again to try out what's left today(given the fact that we tried only half a dozen of them)
Honestly speaking what i enjoyed more is the presence of laughter,the stupid jokes,the endless discussions,the arguments on treatment plans..the filmy and non filmy gossip...seriously i am going to miss all these things...
But then down the memory lane these moments will give me one more reason to smile....

WHAT "LIES" WITHIN

2008-02-13T23:24:00.002+05:30

Not that i am a very saintly human being but i do stick to honesty most of the times unless of course "lying" can change things drastically;for the good...
I've always wondered whether to tell the truth in certain situations is apt or not..What pro's and cons do you need to balance at that moment?For instance you have hurt a friend and u know its completely your mistake but you lie to him/her fearing that the truth might hurt him..!! But what if the friend is not that foolish to overlook your fault..in that circumstance won't the "lie" hurt him/her more?
It happened to me yesterday so i just wanted to know people's opinion on it..
WHAT MAKES US LIE???
The fear that you might get caught or the fear that someone might get hurt or both?or something else.. I am sure every lie we said had a different motive at that time but the basics get narrowed down to the above two questions...
By the way i was on the reciever end of the "lie" this time...

MY FIRST LAPROTOMY........

2008-02-06T22:48:00.000+05:30

A young male,26 years,fainted,with a history of abdominal pain since 3 days...
The diagnosis,most probably peptic perforation(in laymen terms..stomach's losened up itself)..
An intern more than excited to get scrubbed...That's me...So thankful that i stayed thru the noon for the emergency duty..The whole one and half hour that i and my two seniors performed the surgery,actually i just assisted,it was a wonderful experience...My senior performed the surgery with such great precision and nevertheless i was elated to see something i had just visualised in my surgical text books...
Wishing i get more such chances to get scrubbed...And next time i do take a stitch or two...

THE FINAL VERDICT...

2008-02-01T19:15:00.000+05:30

Haaaaaaaaaa...that's a sigh of relief that i gave on 30th..my exams are finally over and the best part..result is out..
i've secured good marks enough to be among the first 30 in the merit list atleast..!!!
All the hard work has finally paid off well..
just hoping i dont have to compromise on pediatrics!!!!

WISH ON A SHOOTING STAR (FOR ME)

2008-01-13T23:27:00.000+05:30

That's exactly the thought that ran through my mind..First of all today was the D day..My All India Entrance Exam for Post Gradutation...the paper was difficult so cant really express on how the paper turned out for me..still i guess i am more happy that one big tension is over...The next one is due on 30th jan..so its just a 1 day break for me...
Also as part of today's chilling out went out with friends to see "Tare Zameen Par"
Needless to put an amazing movie into the bracket of adjectives..its more essentially a feeling beyond imagination...
Though i feel good for the kiddo in the movie to get a fairy godfather in terms of his art teacher,it left me thinking as to what about those who aren't so fortunate enough to let their talent get showcased... it gets hidden forever into the oblivion and the children get tagged as "retarded"...
Well atleast meteors exist!!!!!:))))

(B)ALLOTING LEADERSHIP........

2007-12-17T14:56:00.000+05:30

I knew i wouldnt be able to resist myself from the world of blog..
Yesterday it was phase 2 of elections here in gujarat..and besides it was the first time for me..since the last time the elections were held; i hadnt got my card!!!!
anyway i am not writing down my experience of how i felt while i pressed the button on the machine,but something that really touched me...one sentence..
After voting when we were coming out to the parking lot i overheard a kiddo asking his dad the importance of this stuff..his dad smilingly replied "ki beta aap ko takleef hoti hai to aap apne teacher se madad mangte ho na;to hamari madad karne Wala bhi to ek teacher chahiye na.??"
Nothing better could have made the child contempt about his curiousity.

BACK TO BASICS!!!!

2007-12-14T09:26:00.000+05:30

hiiii folks...again a long break from the blogging area...and its just going to get longer...
Right now down to serious studies with less than a month left for my entrance exams..(13th and 30th jan)..And so its juggling with 19 subjects that i do daily..
just praying God gives me the strength to work hard and of course the good heatlth to go with it...
Oh by the way these are some of my books!!!

"KIRAN" KHO GAYI???

2007-11-28T22:42:00.000+05:30

35 years of selfless service and what an indominitable spirit it was!!!!I mean not all can dare to book a parking fine against the prime minister's car!!!
Talking abt kiran bedi...India's first woman IPS...I always had read admiration for this lady...to beat it out in a MAN's wrold as they say it takes courage...And yesterday when she took voluntary retirement; i felt sad...Sad that it was finally the system she was fighting against..as it happens in all storeis..and plus 2 preciuos years premature termination means india could lose out on many improvisations...
But then as they say,quality matters not quantity...So compared to 2 years her immense reform works matter...
So Long live Kiran Bedi...!!!
Aur aap ke liye yeh chhota sa nagma...

"Raah dikhane wale to kai mile hame is zindagi mein,
sahi aur galat ka faisla kuch ne samjhaya..,
Suraj ne to roshni di har raat ke tamas mein ,
uski "kiran" ke saye ne hosla sikhaya..."

Dont know how well that was but less than i could offer to such a great lady...

WHERE'S THE PARTY TONIGHT

2007-11-04T23:28:00.000+05:30

Haaa...I think these days i got to know the importance of how college can get boring without friends..At the start of it MBBS felt like a mountain..5 and half years!!!! and to think of it now there's only 4 months left!!! time flies indeed...
So since the last two months i've been hanging out with friends a lot...inviting them to my place or going with them..last month with friends who made the beginning the most memorable and fun filled and today, friends who taught me to smile each moment....
Sad that i dont have a digicam so cant upload the pics but then there always my linguistic skills to keep the moment alive...
I wonder when and who next will pay the bill to a beautiful evening and sumptuous meal...!!!ummmm

WISDOM v/s HUMANITY

2007-10-24T23:00:00.000+05:30

Actually its been a long time since this incident actually happened..but i couldnt find time to write it down...
I was waiting at my doc's clinic,for my turn,with other 6 patients..one of them was an old lady who had brought her grandson along..Like all clinics this one too had an array of book related to common medical problems..And some were colourful with illustrations..the little boy had caught a glimpse of it when a lady next to me was reading it..and no matter what he did not settle for anything less than that..he was quite stubborn though he didn't make a hue and cry about it..Sensing it was that book he wanted,the lady next to me smilingly offered him..The smile returned back on his face..I was witnessing the whole incident and since i love babies i was nevertheless too happy to see that innocent and content curve on his lips!!!But that was not all it seems..The next moment he took another book and gave it to the lady ,next to me,saying"tame aa vancho"(u can read this)..My look was no less than a startle..!!! The boy was barely 3 years and such courtesy and manners...More so i realised it was the purity of his mind,which compelled him into the act of kindness..
My mind travelled back to a few years back from then...It was nearing examination time in our school when one of my friends had taken one of my book to refer;since she felt it was work neat and complete!!!and she returned it back to me on time..After a few months it was again exam time and i fell ill..so i asked my friend to lend me her book since i had missed certain classes..To my surprise she gave me the excuse that since it was exam time she couldn't!!! I was too shocked to even remind her of the "friend in need is friend indeed" thing ..Of course i was helped by other friends so i didn't flunk my exams...
The two incidents more or less similar had one main difference...AGE..they say with age you gain wisdom..sure u do;but at a huge cost of humanity...
My further thoughts were perturbed by the ring of a bell which meant it was my turn to see the doc...

EXCUSE ME...ITS LAZINESS AGAIN

2007-09-12T17:37:00.000+05:30

I am probably the most lazy person you might come around..And since its been a long time that i posted something,i thought there can't be a better topic to think and write..actually there isn't to think..heheehe
I know it might sound funny but i actually advised one of my best pals to overcome her laziness and be more sincere and aggressive.I admit that i really find it boring to put on the PC and type a mail once in a while or pen down few wishes on special days to people..But then when i find out that the reason why i didn't receive mails from my friend or cousin, was sheer laziness i get all fumed up..!!!! ironical...
Since i have these "self realisations" quite often i make it a point,not to be on the offender's side..I mean it might seem a stupid task for us to pen down a few lines or rather type but it's always going to bring a smile to the recipient...Since i follow in the principle that "if u expect something you need to act the same" i never forget to mail or call people who matter to me...Its the least i can do,considering the fast track life we live..Not that i am quite regular in the task,but now i try to overcome my so called "laziness"..
I guess sometimes "LAZINESS" is just one of the stupid excuses we make to cover up for our poor memory or make priorities sound euphemistic...!!!And though i completely agree that you need to prioritize your life,certain things are always kept out of the list and laziness isn't quite the excuse someone would like to hear for it...So next time you feel like doing something straight from the heart,act and in return of the time spent,sleep 10 minutes less..!!!

THREADING LOVE...

2007-08-29T00:00:00.000+05:30

Well it was rakhshabandhan yesterday(28th august)..and also my happy wala birthday...so needless to say it was enjoyment at its peak....

The day started off with wishes,sms,phone calls and ya gifts...but it ended with this post...

The day was like any other birthday...same but full of surprises..getting in wishes from unexpected people,getting unexpected gifts and yeah the dinner and lunch is always gonna be different..!!!!

Today was rakhshabandhan also..so i made a rakhi and card(above) for my bro,kartik,(he is my colleague too) and yup made some delicious besan ke laddoo too...not a very creative person but tried my hand at the craft work after a long time...(i remember getting a meagre B grade in school for it)..And yeah to top it all it rained heavily for a couple of hours too...

Finally i went to the temple,which of course was deserted due to rains..and i quite enjoyed the serenity of the surrounding...felt a oneness with GOD...thanked HIM for the beautiful day and prayed for few more ones to come...

CHAK DE...TO ONE AND ALL

2007-08-24T00:17:00.000+05:30

Finally yesterday i went to watch "CHAK DE INDIA" a beautifully portrayed movie about hockey..actually women's hockey team..and needless to guess it said more than it showed...
Here's how the story goes..the failed Indian hockey men's captain and centre forward acquitted of being a traitor tries his level best to bring back the faith of the nation in the game and give hockey its much deserved place at the top at par with cricket...so he gets a job as the coach of the women's hockey team..and even with all the personal differences the girls come together and play for their country..and of course bring home the world cup..
The movie has slapped many national officials right on their face..with the girls side dwindling on the sex ratio statistics,i guess the people ought to see the movie..and of course for all those who keep on grumbling about "what did the country do for them and they could do for the country"stuff ;this movie is a must watch..it shows that its not always about how u perform,its about how your country performs..and if you give your best shot forgetting all about regionalism and cast ism India will soon find its place at the top in almost everything...i mean come on its high time we were known for something more than yoga, bollywood and shooting population rate...
I how ever was thinking something else too..shahrukh khan(who played the coach),well he could himself get into politics and give a helping hand..i mean people worship him and if his movie could create such a stir in young hearts(like me) in real life it could create a movement...and probably something that happened 60 years ago,could be relived..only this time we would be fighting to free ourselves from the clutches of dirty politics of our own nation..and more so our so called "Indian mentality"..
Now i guess the title sounds apt..har ek Indian aaj keh de apne aap se "chak de"!!!!

ALL ABOUT WHILING AWAY TIME

2007-08-14T01:24:00.000+05:30

I love reading the newspaper..and this is something which i thank my dad for(apart for the countless things)..And so i am always excited about the SUNDAY TIMES where they print almost everything...from food to fashion,news to nuisance,education to exotic destination info...in short its a must read!!!
It was on this Sunday that i learnt that blogging is almost a decade old..(thanks to my laziness all these years that i stayed ignorant)..and that every second 1.4 blogs are posted..and the blogger maybe anyone from a housewife to an actress, a student to a corporate manager...
I mean when i learnt first about blogging(thanks to my friend ANUJA) i told her i would be too lazy to actually type down my thoughts..(not that i am the eternal philosophical thinker or something..) but its actually an addiction..And since writing has always been my secret passion i somehow cant help myself from staying away..(and that explains the odd timing of this post 1.20 am or something ;in case u didn't notice)
Another hobby that i developed recently is reading..though i am way behind book lovers in updating myself to the latest ones in the stall,its also strongly catching up with me...so I'll be soon posting something on the book i am gonna read in the next few days...
As for now i am back to another hobby of mine(nah..its not MUSIC)..Zzz..zzzz

A FAR(EWELL) EVENT

2007-08-09T00:23:00.000+05:30

On 6th August one of my best friends left for USA..and i never thought that i would post a blog..but i already miss her..
It was cloudy and just when we reached the aiport it started raining cats and dogs.!!!So by default the flight was delayed..To top it all they were not issuing visitor's passes due to security reasons(15th august independence day)
so i waited there outside the glass door;like a small girl eager to see her dad bring her a doll;for her to come and see me after her "check in " procedure...and the security man gave us just 5 minutes..all i could manage to say was take care and a tight hug..!!!sometimes when u wait in anticipation and the moment actually is in front of you,u become aphasic...
But i guess we never needed words to fill in the gap of hours we used to spent..(or i shoud correct myself;she didnt need words..i never let even try,considering the blabbermouth that i am..hehehe)
I'll defintely miss all the times we used to discuss like all teenagers and adolscents do..And also the fact that careers and studies did take away those long hours walk and brought us to few minutes of chat over the phone...all jumbled emotions..happy for where u are and sad at the distance..
Now of course our encounters might beome more frequent,since we would be regularly seeing each other online..And thats an irony in itself!!!
Miss you lots da!!!!

"BUS"Y RIDE

2007-07-28T22:03:00.000+05:30

It feels like eons since i have blogged!!! The reason being that we finally shifted to our new house...and its feels so good...
Well had many new experiences specially going through a 50 minute bus ride to my UHC which is 20 km away from my place...a mode of transport probably used by 70% of the population...And was it good??? Well if i managed to get a seat through the ride it was definitely better...
While the journey all these days i pondered over things...There are many people who travel through the bus and wait in the scorching heat but they do not complain..and i cant even get count of the times when i had to wait for a few minutes whenever dad used to come and pick me up and would have been late...i would take out all the frustration on him..!!!and now i realise if it wouldnt have been for him saving a penny here and there by travelling through bus;i wouldnt have had the privelege of roaming around in a car..!!!
Well now atleast i shall whine a little less...
Also there are still some youngsters who stand up when they see an elderly person..and still more; selfless people who point out an empty seat to anyone who is standing..i mean these incidents make you think that the world is not that ruthless as it is potrayed.. nad perhaps if u do see that the glass is half full(as per the old chinese saying) it really works good..

Lots of things can be introspected..And as much as i hated waiting in the heat for the bus i loved to have such a beautiful experience...
So until i use another mode of public transport and gain some new "gyaan" i'll be content with this self realisation...

THE BLAME GAME

2007-07-01T22:37:00.000+05:30

Currently posted under community medicine;its like a reality check for us interns...
During the entire 3 months we are posted at different urban health centres or referral hospitals at the periphery to take a look at the scenario of health facilities provided to the needy and also to polish our clinical skills...(since we are expected to run an OPD whenever the medical officer is on a leave...)
Its been a month now and i realised that being a doctor isnt that easy..and being a good and kind hearted doctor is even more difficult...The medical officer at one of the referral hospitals was not even bothered to hear and write down the complaints of the patients..All he cared for is that he shouldnt be a part of a gross negligence nor should he be overburdened with the responsibility of being the godfather of hundreds of human beings...he just wanted to sit and shout,chew tobacco whole day and let out his vent for not having been able to run his own private clinic for the lack of money....
Seriously speaking i do not know how many of us would be working with sheer dedication if we were serving for our country's government..?? Its easy to blame the lame government system and pointing out loopholes in the administration when we have done something wrong..or when we are frustrated..But do we do the same when we work for ourselves(as in our private clinic or a business for instance)..Why do we become so irresponsible when we work for others?? do we oblige them??(in this instance of course i mean the patients and the government)I am sure the same person i referred to( and for that matter many of us) would have talked in an entirely different tone to the pateints at his private clinic..Is it so difficult for us to develop a bit of humanity in us while talking to people we don't know..??
I am reminded of a very famous dialogue from the movie "MUNNABHAI MBBS"..
"Do not love your patients..the same hand that performs hundreds of operation steadily would definitely start having tremors when you see you own daughter on the operation table.."
To a large extent i guess this is true because you never can differentiate when to draw a line..But this defintely does not mean that you become indifferent to your patients..Specially when they see you as an epitome of kindness and warmth..
I do not know what other realities i'll be facing during my entire career as a doctor;but one question i'd like to get an answer to is "who is to be blamed for the reason that crores of indians still die without a single doctor attending to them;that why despite of such talent India cannot still eradicate rampant diseases;that why the doctor is day by day percieved as a money maker??"
1) We(doctors)....Who take patients for granted unless the cash they pay
jingles in our pockets..who after having spent loads of money and precious adolenscent
years of our life become so sadistic that we tend to overlook other's needs and our
reponsibilites
2) The government ....who is yet to prove its worth by directing the resources in proper
direction...dreaming of making india a super power without thinking that illiteracy is what
they need to actually take steps against..
3)The local mass...who are totally ignorant of the health facilities..and the other kind who take
undue advantage of those facilities..forcing us to be unkind and rude..

I cant particularly point on any one choice;after all i am a human... a social animal who loves to put the blame on others..
And this isnt the story of medicos alone..it happens in every field;infact every walk of our life...So today just count how many times you have passed on the blame onto others..??And does this game really solve the problem in the long run???

MIXED BAG

2007-06-25T22:33:00.000+05:30

The whole day could be summarized by this picture...SUNSET...(ha dont mistake me for a pessimist!!!) darkening yet beautiful and colourful...it was a day when u feel like life is really a rainbow..all moments with a different shade...

The morning began with me and my 2 colleagues cursing ourselves all the way throught the 12 km ride to the referral hospital;but we were so rejoiced to see that the medical officer was not one of those sadist kinds who believe that their very own existence is to trouble students...He laughed and joked with us all through the time making remarks about the indian system of education(to be specific MED SCHOOL LIFE)..what he said was difficult to digest but nevertheless the truth..which of course is a never ending list to mention....

Then came the darker shade..My never ending queue at the REGIONAL TRANSPORT OFFICE..for my 4 wheeler liscence..As an audit officer's daughter i have never had to wait in queues..i always have ha dthe privelege to dodge hundreds and stand among the first few..but today i was there standing..even with the "sifarish" i spent whole 2 and half hours which ended up in a frustrated and famished looking face on my "smart card"(that's referring to the lisensce)..and to top it poured so heavily that i was drenched inspite of my raincoat..

After hurdling past the strong winds when i finally reached home i chose to sleep it off..Just when i thought the day was cruel to me.,something happened to make me smile..I met my old bio tution teacher..DR. DJ MOHAN..a very sensitive and brilliant man..dedicated scientist..he was so happy to see me and the honour that he gave me before his new students was so flattering.. even the institute head gave me a warm welcome..I felt on cloud nine and no wonder i was brimming from ear to ear the whole way back..Atleast i was proud about something..an image which made me among the few in people's good books...

You guys must be wondering what was so different that happened today??i have an answer..today was no new a day from the usual "mixed bag" day where something good and something bad happens to you..but its upto you whether you choose to stamp the day as good or bad trying to balance amongst the happenings of the day..!!!then its easy for you to frown or smile...

As for me i chose a diplomatic way out!!! giving equal stress to both my frowning and smiling muscles..:))))

LIGHT FROM GOD

2007-06-21T00:41:00.000+05:30

It was just like any other evening;one would expect in mid june...humid and tiring...
but something just changed it...the sweet smell of earth..Yes it was the first full fledged rain that ahmedabad was going to witness...!!!
And we bored interns were so thrilled that we kept all our tonnes of books and hundreds of worries aside... we reached on our college terracein no time to get ourselves drenched in the water pouring from heaven(well i am sure all good tings come from there!!!)
No of us could guess that it would be such a wonderful experience..all of us washing away our pains,worries,sorrows,etc with every single droplet that trickled down our body...Finally releived that the scorching heat is not going to trouble us for some days aleast..(and of course if it rains cats and dogs then it would lead to water logging which would mean no clinics and no work!!!)
And then suddenly there was a shriek.."Aaaaaaa amma...". everyone turned around,except for me;who of course was on the ground..yes i was struck with a lightening...it was painful for quite some time..and the trauma has not left my mental territory yet..(i jittered the whole ride back to home with every single glimpse of light!!!)
It was the first time that ligthening had struck me..And i began to think why???(aah my curious soul...)there were many who had experienced the struck but i was affected the most..And thank GOD that the matter was not so traumatic..The whole way back i was accompanied by my two friends and one invisible strength..GOD(so i believe;because the sky must have glittered umpteen number of times)..i kept chanting "hare krishna" the whole way until i reached home..while doing so tears trickled down my eyes..whether i was more happy with the fact that i was not hurt badly or sad that why i was the chosen one;i could not figure out..
But one thing which i realised was that every single incident that happens has a meaning behind it..like a code,which we have to decipher..its not important whether it was a good or bad experience,each moment teaches you something..its like a key to each question life places before you...
I dont know yet what message was hidden for me..but yes i know that from now on i know where to find a way out if i get lost in the dark...:)))
I am sure you all might also have found or will find answers to many riddles within the spur of moment;you just have to keep your eyes and mind open...

SAVE A LIFE....

2007-06-12T22:08:00.000+05:30

Donate blood/heart/eyes... etc and save a life...Well that's the slogans u might find on many transport systems,walls or practically anywhere...
Being a doctor it goes unsaid that it must tbe one of my primal duties to make a starting step towards it..And i did just that on 10th of june by donating 300 ml of my blood..(a meagre amount to start with)..I dont know how much my fat laden organs might be useful to anyone but yes i have decided to donate them when i die..
So why did i decide to write about it?? i mean there is enough of awareness..hahahaha,i laugh at the sentence because there were many people sceptical about donating blood,needless to say the beginners...Even i was one of them..yes i donated blood for the very first time and took enough pride to be bold about the whole procedure...and the technicians were giving my example as well of those of who had donated umpteen number of times..
What does it take to donate blood?? just few minutes,lots of energy,motivation and a selfless heart...i dont know for how long health will permit me to lend a helping hand to the needy but i know that till i can i will...after all to bring a smile on someone's face or give a pulse to dying is far more priceless than any other commodity..And that's precisely the reason i plunged into the world of medicine...
My question is to those people who think that there are hundreds of people donating blood,what difference would it make if i dont?? Well friends if every cloud were to think so i guess we would have famished to death eons ago...And this hesitation doesnt stop here it follows everywhere we go...we never seem to take a step on our own unless it has become a trend..Why are we so apprehensive about doing soemthing that is right?? so friends its high time we keep thinking that there are hundreds of people to perform an act and procrastinating...and also being selfish as to not let go of a few ounces of blood of us atleast once a year....
As they say what goes around,comes around...so spread a smile,save a life and it might reflect back....

MY NEW HOME

2007-06-07T00:03:00.000+05:30

Its like a feeling the mamma bird gets when she makes a nest for her little ones..well not that i am building one house for my kids(i dont have any) but it was exciting...
4th of june was the "vastu" a house warming ritual for my new house...its not a very big one but yes more spacious than the present one...that whole day was special..since i never had witnessed the ritual so carefully....
it began with offerings and prayers to GOD and new hopes and dreams...
And then all friends and well wishers joining in our bliss...
The day was hectic but it brought all of us closer as a family...responsibilties,happiness,worries all packaged together...and still we all were welcoming the new experience whole heartedly..
The shifting has still to be done,which of course would mean a whole lot of work but yes we are looking forward to it...
It also means we have to leave behind our present house's friends and neighbours but what i see is i shall be meeting new people and the old ones will still be special...
There are many memories that i and my family will be taking along with us form here only to add one new ones to the whole list...
so untill the shifting actually takes place,its chow from me...

LOOKING THROUGH THE GLASS

2007-05-26T23:02:00.000+05:30

well its been a long time..but i already mentioned i am lazy..
wasnt really getting any idea what to write on,thats when my friend told me to look around myself..
i guess we get so engrossed in the rut of the day that we forget to introspect..
it was just a usual day when i got up in the morning..and as usual i moaned on how i had to drive 11 kilometres to get to the hospital every day(thats makes 22 total) little realizing that i had to just sit and give orders there(or "take" most of the time) but there are people who cant manage to make their ends meet and have to make their way throught the scorching heat in the hope of getting relief from their ailments..
i'm currently posted in the pediatrics dept and there is a patient,obviously falling under the below poverty line,suffering from tuberculosis..
he is in a lot of pain..not even mentioning the physical aspect..he cant communicate with us because he doesnt know gujarati,the local language here..his father cant bring him a fruit to eat,let alone paying the medical bill..it was pitiable..and thats the story of many indians..infact many patients in the same ward..why i chose to describe his story,i myself cant figure out...maybe when we were in the round,our madam's sympathetic look forced me to think and write...
"i cried because i didnt have fancy shoes,then i saw someone who did not have feet"
that was line told to me by my senior and i was reminded of that..i felt so ashamed to think of all the times when i made a fuss about the food i was fed more than 3 times a day,whereas afroz(thats the name of the boy) was happy to get a mere morsel even if that meant it was not what he had thought of...
why do we become so full of the things we have that we never ever think what the situation would be like when those things just vanish one day..!!! why do we forget that we are obliged than thousand others who cant even manage to make their ends meet..??why cant we be satisfied and thank GOD for what we have..???
I am not suggesting we stop aspiring high and striving for our goals but yes we can definitely try and make the best possible use of everything,every moment..
I cant promise that i'll be able to help all my pateints financially ,because i hate to make empty ones,but yes i can atleast try...
I did not give any monetary help to afroz(our head of dept had already dont the kind job) but yes everyday when i see him i make it a point to smile at him..and thank him silently for what he made me realise..i know my words wont make any sense to him but atleast my smile can assure him that we all care for him...
I know its difficult to be happy in what we have everytime,(we love to keep our gadgets updated and not to forget the new dress on the mannequin) but we can always keep a magnifying lens to make things look larger than life...
And u dont have to go very far for that lens..just dont let stupid ideas to fog your LENS...

WHEN YOU GET "RINGED"

2007-05-17T23:23:00.000+05:30

well i aint talking about the phone bell...
last sunday my two very close friends got engaged (ya u guessed it right!!! its the engagement ring referred to)
so why am i writing about it?? because i am really happy for them...
anuja and dhwanil...2 very close and special friends...all these four years i covered up for them,listened to them,cursed them,laughed with them,felt so elated for them....and its all worht it..
a beautiful couple committing their entire lives and dreams for each other...though i enjoyed a lot at the party,but for the "thinking queen" i am,there were lots of questions racking my mind..(.thats right not brain)
how do u get to know that a person can be your life partner?does God ring a bell for you?or u having auditory halucinations when u see a cute guy/gal staring at you??
wat questions do u ask to yourself before commiting to someone?how do u leave behind 2 decades of your life when u decide to walk down the aisle??
See i told you there are many of them..as a young girl,i used to always think my Mr. perfect would be an army officer..dashing,brave ,intelligent,romantic and understanding...but now as i am a doc, i think a doc would be best for me..still my questions remain unanswered..i still wonder when i meet the right guy how will i recognize him?? will we able to connect to each others past present and future...???
i guess i'll have to wait for these questions to be answered..but in the meanwhile i realised something...that love is purely selfless,totally unconditional and not in the least claustropbobic to your spouse...
So.. people fall in love,enjoy and dont push yourselves too hard to acheive the perfect match..try and make wat u have into a perfect relationship....

HOW GOD SENDS BLESSINGS!!!

2007-04-26T22:42:00.000+05:30

well guys these days we interns are going through a tough time...
the whole issue is really weird..after our 12 months of internship we are supposed to give an entrance examination through which we shall be selected for our residency...now since it has been introduced our merit was counted on the basis of 50% aggregate of our 4 years of MBBS marks and 50% entrance tests results...now suddenly our seniors want it to make it 100% since there are many who would be appearing with us(because as usual there is a dearth of seats for residency)
for the obvious selfish motive that we score more than them on the MBBS marks aggregate....
And so we like the rebellious lot we are are trying our level best to fight against it....
no doubt we are getting a good amount of support but it isnt enough...
but thru all these things what i got to know today is that the main person behind this rebel(in our favour) is not even going to appear for this entrance...he will be giving USMLE...
for hours together i kept thinking that whether there was any selfish motive behind this "selfless" help??(being an indian its hard to give up the paranoid attitude)..

but then as always there was something positive inside me saying that this person is standing in the scorching sun fighting for us when it doesnt matter to him at all...and i felt so stupid, childish and selfish when i was whining and complaining about how famished i was...i mean this guy was there day in and out since so many days....!!!!!hats off to him

thats when i thought that good people havent become and extinct species..they do come and come at the right time...and as they say what goes around comes back,i am sure something great will come out of this fight against injustice and definitely in our favour...

At the same time of course my spiritual beliefs where once again strenghthened that GOD does take care of us...and whatever happens will surely take me to the best path in my life....

ME,MYSELF AND MY STORY

2007-04-25T23:23:00.000+05:30

hello friends....
Well i know i've sent this link to all the people i know so the people actually taking the pains to read through this crap will be my friends...,but for those who arent as lazy as i am and do enjoy reading blogs,here's a brief introduction to my life....
I am Smita Nair, an intern doctor associated with NHL medical college in ahmedabad(a bubbling under city of INDIA)..and its pretty much the reason i decided to blog...
I did my schooling here and even if by birth i am a keralite(kerala, a state in southern india,has been epithetised as "god's own country")i've never or rather my friends have never let me feel that i am an non gujarati(gujarat,that's where ahmedabad is)
So after schooling i was almost determined upto to 99% that i would go into engineering..but then suddenly something melodramatically changed my decision...my grandpa's laryngeal cancer...
So i entered into the big bad world of medicine..and i have enjoyed it thoroughly;be it the thick or the thins..
Something about me....well to describe me i guess the best person are my closest friends amrita and neha...and i am sure they wouldnt say anything less than this....a happy go lucky ambitious,talented,sensitive VIRGO who is meticulous enough but at times she gets all egoistic and fussy...and they also wouldnt forget to mention my stubborn nature..
Thats enough of self praise i guess...
I'd also like to tell all about my dreamwishes,(many to mention) which i might happen to during the entire process of blogging...
So people i hope u have fun reading my blogs...